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Darren Wilson says he’s sorry over loss of life, but his conscience is clear

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FERGUSON —  Ferguson Police Officer Darren Wilson, in his first interview since the fatal shooting of unarmed teenager Michael Brown, told ABC News Tuesday that he’s not tormented by that fateful encounter in suburban St. Louis last summer.

“I don’t think it’s haunting,” Wilson said. “It’s always going to be something that happened. The reason I have a clean conscience is that I know I did my job right.”

Repeating what he told a grand jury investigating the shooting, Wilson said Brown reached into his police vehicle and grabbed for his gun.

Wilson said he feared for his life.

Wilson told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos he asked the teenager to move out of the center of the street. Brown walked over to his car and pushed the door back as Wilson tried to get out, the officer said.

“As I looked back at him, punches started flying,” Wilson said in the interview, which aired Tuesday night. “He threw the first one and hit me in the left side of my face.”

Wilson said he didn’t know how many times he got hit.

“I just know there was a barrage of swinging and grabbing and pulling for about 10 seconds,” Wilson told ABC. “I reached out my window with my right hand to grab on to his forearm.”

Wilson said he wanted to move Brown away.

“I just felt the immense power that he had. And then the way I’ve described it is, it was like a 5-year-old holding onto Hulk Hogan. That’s just how big this man was,” Wilson said. “He was very large, very powerful man.”

Wilson is 6-foot-4 and 210 pounds; Brown was the same height and weighed nearly 300 pounds.

Brown unleashed another punch and struck the officer in his face, Wilson said.

“How do I survive,” Wilson recalled thinking. “I didn’t know if I’d be able to survive another hit like that.”

Wilson reached for his gun and told Brown to back off or he would shoot, the officer said.

“You’re too much of a (bleeped) to shoot me,” Wilson claimed Brown told him before grabbing the top of the officer’s gun.

Wilson tried to squeeze off two shots but the gun jammed twice.

Brown, he said, tried to reach the trigger guard to shot Wilson. Wilson got a shot off on his third attempt, he said.

“He gets even angrier,” Wilson said. “His aggression, his face, the intensity just increases. He comes back in at me again.”

There was another shot, Wilson told ABC. The officer gets out of his car and goes after Brown, who turns around from 30 to 40 feet away.

Wilson said Brown reached into his waistband with one hand and made a fist with the other.

“He starts charging me,” Wilson said in the interview. “My initial thought was, is there a weapon in there.”

Wilson said Brown never had his hands up as if to surrender.

Brown charged at Wilson, the officer said.

“I decide to shoot,” he said “I fired a series of shots and paused. I noticed at least one of them hit him. I don’t know where. I saw his body kind of flinch a little.”

Wilson said he paused again and commanded Brown to stop.

Brown kept coming. Wilson said he fired again and Brown flinched as if hit.

With Brown just 15 feet away, Wilson said, he backpedaled. Brown got closer and positioned himself to tackle the officer, according to Wilson, who then shot the teenager in the top of he head.

Wilson told ABC that he was sorry for the loss of life but that he was simply doing his job and following his training.

Wilson said he recently married.

“We just want to have a normal life,” he told ABC. “That’s it.”

The death of Brown sparked violent demonstrations in the days after the shooting and again on Monday night, when it was announced that a Missouri grand jury would not charge Wilson.

In the hour-long interview, Wilson said he could not have done anything differently.

Asked if the incident would have turned out differently if Michael Brown had been white, Wilson said no.

Wilson, 28, spent six years with the Ferguson police department before being placed on administrative leave following the shooting. Wilson worked for two years at another police department before that.

Wilson remains on leave, pending the outcome of an internal investigation, Ferguson Mayor James Knowles told reporters Tuesday.

“No decision has been made,” Knowles said. “His current employment status has not changed.”

Last week, people close to the talks told CNN that the officer was in the final stages of negotiations with city officials to resign from the police department.

Wilson has told associates he would resign as a way to help ease pressure and protect his fellow officers.

The United States Justice Department is also investigating whether Wilson violated Brown’s civil rights.

In newly released transcripts of testimony that the grand jury heard while considering whether to bring charges in Brown’s death, Wilson told the jurors that he had never fired his gun on duty before that day.

Wilson told the grand jury his original goal was to arrest Brown, after identifying him as a possible suspect in a shop theft.

Wilson fired 12 shots, according to the grand jury proceedings.

The officer told the St. Louis County grand jury that two shots were fired during a struggle at his police vehicle and that he then fired three bursts of gunfire as he chased and later backed away from Brown. He testified that his Sig Sauer .40-caliber gun held a maximum of 13 bullets.

45 comments

  • Christian

    Perhaps the same could be said about your mother, Paula. On what basis did you make that totally idiotic and unjustified statement about B Addy? Is it that you can’t handle the fact he merely spoke the truth on this issue? If so, too bad…get over it. If that hurts, so be it. The truth won in this case. A good cop was merely doing his job and he should be commended for that. Then again, if you knew anything at all about police work, you’d already know that.

    • Pam

      He is not a “good” cop. He is a murderer. He said he felt like a five year old. His punk, bytch a $$ has no business being a police officer if he’s that scared. Just wait til they start murdering you & you kids then you will see how it feels. Oh, I almost forgot ISIS already taking yall out!!!

      • SAM-USA

        PAM – IT’S APPARENT YOU DON’T HAVE ANY SCHOOLING! CAN YOU READ! OF COURSE NOT! YOU WANT TO MAKE UP WHATEVER YOU WANT! TYPICAL REMARK FOR THE “BLACK RACE”. THE FACTS ARE THE FACTS! THE POLICE OFFICER DID HIS DUTY AND PROTECTED HIMSELF FROM THE LOWLIFE BLACK SCUM & THIEF – THAT BROWN WAS! AND OF COURSE THE “BLACKS OF FERGUSON” HAVE SHOWN THE WHOLE WORLD WHAT THE “BLACK RACE” IS REALLY MADE OF!!! LOWLIFE THIEVING SCUMS! IT’S A SHAME NO ONE CARES THAT ALL THE BUSINESS’S THAT WERE DESTROYED WILL NOW LOOSE OUT ON THEIR HOLIDAYS EARNINGS!

      • B ADDY

        Joey , such big words from a knuckledragger typing from mommies basement. You couldn’t even get a piece from Pam.

    • Mary13

      Pam you are being so judgemental and calling people racist…yet…YOU ARE RACIST. You called soneone “…trailer park trash” ummmmm. What exactly do you mean? Everyone raised or living in a MOBLE HOME COMMUNITY are trash? Wow…a racist calling others racist. I have never lived in a moble home but i do know that a persons home doesnt reflect whether they are “trash” or not. Try looking in the mirror and judge what you see FIRST!

      • Stupidity Knows No Form

        Go back to school. Not sure exactly why black people are so bent out of shape. Stop thinking about “it’s because I’m black.” You don’t see Jewish people complaining about their history nor do you hear that from Egyptians. No wonder people from Africa don’t want to be associated with people who just want hand outs and complain for something that never happened to them. You are a disgrace to the motherland. I refuse to be seen with such ignorance. What would you have done differently if something like this happened to you? I am black and I refuse to submit myself to people who just like to complain about everything that pertains to their color.

      • Lacedaemon

        I am white. On a vacation to West Africa a tour guide shared with me that many Africans do not like American Blacks because they can not get beyond their history. They don’t advance because of learned “chips on their shoulders”. I was surprised that many African Blacks did not care for American Blacks.

      • B ADDY

        Great post stupidity knows no form! The Black community would actually be respected in the world if more had common sense as you. I admit I have dropped to the low level of some of the posters here and should know better , but it is very frustrating listening to the ignorance spouted. Every group has faced discrimination throughout history ( not just the last 150 yrs) but only one can’t seem to rise above.

      • Joey

        Please tell me what other race went through anything comparable to slavery of black people in America. … torn apart families, beaten, humiliated, killed, hung, made to work from sun up to sun down, lied on, mentally abused, dignity taken, no human rights, looked at as property and not a whole person, cleaning, raising the masters kids, raped, etc.

      • B ADDY

        Do everyone a favor and study a little history Joey and you will see. And direct some of your bitterness to your relatives who rounded your other relatives and sold them to the highest bidder.

      • Joey

        Why do I have to read? You made a statement, so prove what you’re saying. that doesn’t take anything away from what the whities did to blacks even they got here!!!!

  • Beckyh

    The Democratic “Legal Eagles”, warriors, operatives, and media all banded together to REFUSE laws, enforcement, and legislated government due processes.
    The President’s mandated FBI and DO-Injustice Just For US “Investigations into Justice for Brown” were part and parcel of the substantiated evidence presented that led to the grand jury’s decision,
    “Never mind. We Don’t “feel we like” legislated Justice in a Court of Law IF it hasn’t been set up and rigged TO SUIT.”

  • B ADDY

    Laughable watching the pond scum trying to defend the criminal. You losers need to open your eyes but that will never happen. Ignorance is not a virtue.

  • joey

    For all of you defending this pu$$y cop…who should find another job because this isn’t the one for him. He probably was picked on at school so he wanted to pick on some people by hiding behind a badge a gun. His conscious is clear because he is a racist and did what he wanted to do. Question for you all defending him…Michael cant speak from the grave so you are hearing one side of the story. How do you know he is telling the truth? We’re both 6’4″ with a 90 lb weight difference but I feel like a 5 yr old and Hulk Hogan? That’s B$!! He reached into his pants? For what, he had no gun? The things he is saying doesn’t make sense. He had been shot but Michael kept charging at him. Why would he do that? He has been shot, he has no gun. Why would he keep charging after him knowing the cop will shoot him dead. His story doesn’t make sense. White people easily turn red. He could’ve punched his self to claim self defense. Lastly, Michael was with someone, what was that boy doing the whole time??? This story doesn’t make sense and is clearly a cover up by the racist and corrupt police department.

    • SAM-USA

      JOEY – WHERE YOU THERE! NO – SO HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!!! IT’S ALWAYS “I’M BLACK – SO IT’S THE POOR INICENT BLACK MAN WRONG BY THE WHITE MAN”!! WELL YOU AND HUNDREDS OF MORE BLACK IDIOTS NEED TO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR AS’S – TYPICAL REMARK FOR THE “BLACK RACE”. THE FACTS ARE THE FACTS! THE POLICE OFFICER DID HIS DUTY AND PROTECTED HIMSELF FROM THE LOWLIFE BLACK SCUM & THIEF – THAT BROWN WAS! AND OF COURSE THE “BLACKS OF FERGUSON” HAVE SHOWN THE WHOLE WORLD WHAT THE “BLACK RACE” IS REALLY MADE OF!!! LOWLIFE THIEVING SCUMS! IT’S A SHAME NO ONE CARES THAT ALL THE BUSINESS’S THAT WERE DESTROYED WILL NOW LOOSE OUT ON THEIR HOLIDAYS EARNINGS!

      • joey

        Lose the caps lock you racist pu$$Y. computer tough guy….smh, you’re the low life showing what the white pathetic race is made of! you couldn’t answer one question posed. Your dumb a$$ wasn’t there either. As for the thieving—-no justice, no peace bytch!

    • Pam

      Joey, I agree. These white crooked a $$ people do not make sense. He is a punk a $$ police officer who has no business being one. He was dead phucking wrong. All these cities aren’t protesting for nothing.

  • charles

    whites should boycott wtvr,cnn and msnbc.Its clear by the coverage they have picked a side and coverage has been one sided all black.Black activists stirring the pot,black reporters smearing facts and why that al sharpton is not in jail I have no idea.I urge all whites and blacks that see the facts to stop watching these channels.Their only agenda is to divide ,make blacks riot so they have viewers because lets face it all their ratings are terrible lately.There are many news channels evenly covering both sides the same.Blacks your being made their puppets and I thought you were over that many years ago.

  • Daniel Mercer

    Reading these comments make me sick. We talk about racism and slavery and all of this negative ignorant stuff. Race has no color in my eyes. I wasn’t there and yes the media is getting ratings off of this. Was he right? Neither was. The jury went by testimony given by all blacks who stories was conflicting and most of them changed what they saw. Only 3 people know what happen, police officer,brown,and the friend or cousin. Most of us are sitting around assuming and being judgemental. Yes a life was taken and whose to say the story he told is true. We as people are quick to holler racist or blacks are ignorant. We need to grow up and exept that the same thing that happened to Brown could happen to one of us as long as the Government allow it. We as Americans need to take a stand against the corrupted government and stop being social media thugs. How dare people to keep blaming it on the color of the skin. Cause I bet in every black family there is a white child and every white family there is a black child. Grow up and act like u got some sense.

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