CHESTERFIELD COUNTY, Va. -- As family and friends reunite with one another this holiday season, a special first-time meeting took place Monday night in Chesterfield County, one that marked the end of one journey for the two and the beginning of another.
It was there that Meredith Spies that she was able to finally meet and hug Samuel Allebaugh.
"I just wanted to hug you so bad," said Spies after an initial ten-second hug.
"I am so glad that this is finally happening," replied Allebaugh.
Getting to this point, took nearly four years, including a death, forgiveness, and a pandemic.
It began on Feb. 13, 2019, when Allebaugh was driving along a stretch of Genito Rd. in Chesterfield. He lost control of the truck as he texted his girlfriend about Valentine's Day and hit a car going in the other direction. That car was driven by Karen Giles, an Amelia County EMT, and she was pronounced dead on the scene.
"I never saw Karen Giles coming. I never even knew she was there. I lost control of my truck and the next thing I knew I was in the mid-air. And it was the worst sound ever. And it haunted me for months," said Allebaugh. "It was all because I looked, I glanced down at my phone."
Allebaugh would accept responsibility and plead guilty. Later that year he was sentenced to eight months in jail and it was during that sentencing hearing that seeds of what was to grow were planted.
For Spies, it was her first time seeing Allebaugh and while she did not want to actually look at him she did want him to know something.
"I included in my victim witness statement that I forgave him. I didn't have the ability to be angry anymore. When I read those words, I could hear him across the room -- not gasp, just sigh with relief and start to cry. I could tell that his guilt had been weighing on him heavily and hearing those words helped start releasing some of that," said Spies, who added Allebaugh's acceptance of guilt was their biggest concern. "I was so excited that he owned up to his actions, that he asked me for my forgiveness, and that he was dedicated to make sure other people didn't walk down our path."
"There's so many people that don't have what we have there. So many people that have lost someone because of distracted driving and the person responsible has never owned up to it. And they're left living with this horrible grief. And I grieve, sure, but there's also joy in the grief because we found each other and we've reconciled," added Spies.
"It changed my life when you said that you forgave me," said Allebaugh of that courtroom moment. "I definitely sighed."
A few months later, Spies reached out to Allebaugh in jail and the two started exchanging letters and phone calls.
"I wanted to know about your life and I wanted you to know about my mom's life. So, you understood what we lost, but also that we could learn about you, too. Because, in like some weird way, like I said, we're connected. I don't know if you want to call it family or what, but, we've been through this together," Spies recounted.
The two had always hoped to meet in person once Allebaugh was released, but things kept getting in the way such as COVID-19, Allebaugh not having a license, and living in Orange, Virginia, and Spies raising her young family of four.
But as Allebaugh prepares for a move to Petersburg, it gave them the opportunity to finally meet and what brought Allebaugh to Spies' home on Monday. They invited CBS 6 to be there for the meeting to help share their story.
"I am anxious," Spies told CBS 6 as she waited for Allebaugh to arrive. "I just want to hug him, it actually reminds me of the first time that I got back in touch with my mom after not talking to her for years. I lived in Ohio and I came down here to visit her just to see her. It was before I had a GPS or anything, I was following directions on the road. And she said, 'It doesn't matter where you are, just pull over and I'll find you.' And we pulled off on the side of the road somewhere and we just jumped out of our cars and just gave each other the biggest hugs."
For Allebaugh's part, he told CBS 6 outside the home that he was equally excited and trying not to cry.
"This is a time of healing for both of us," said Allebaugh. "It's emotional. I have some strong feelings towards this person because of their forgiveness for me and at the same time, I'm very sorry she doesn't have her mother anymore. That's real stuff."
After several hugs in the hallway, Allebaugh met Spies' husband, four children and dog before the two sat down in the kitchen to catch up, sitting beneath a cross and a religious poem that was given to Spies after Giles' death. Both said they relied on their faith for strength and felt it is part of a larger plan.
"For Sam to be able to make it in town today. For [CBS 6] to be able to be here today. None of this is chance. I think God knew what He was doing and we don't understand why or how and it's okay to be angry about that. But, God's in control and this is just another way he's shown us along this journey that he's got it," said Spies.
The two then swapped stories of their shared experience and their shared gratefulness -- Spies for Allebaugh's acceptance and Allebaugh for Spies' forgiveness.
"Without your forgiveness, I wouldn't even be where I am. I wouldn't have the contentment that I have with trying to move on with my life. It wouldn't be possible," Allebaugh told Spies.
"I feel the same way right back to you. Because, I've met people who don't have the closure," replied Spies.
While Monday's meeting was the first between the two, it will not be the last. Both Spies and Allebaugh have shared their story since the crash in hopes of preventing others from distracted driving, but plan to go to events in the future and share their story together.
"Hearing both sides might get deeper to those people who don't want to hear it," said Spies. "I think that message cuts through any self-confidence that someone may have. 'I'm not going to get hurt, I'm not going to do anything wrong. I'm going to be okay.'"
"What a powerful testimony we can give. Not only forgiveness but the, you know, both ends of the distracted driving incident," added Allebaugh, who said in the end laws won't end the problem -- only the choices that people make.
Both shared stories of friends and family who said they were about to text and drive but stopped when they thought of their story. Allebaugh also revealed to Spies for the first time that he had donated to Giles' fundraiser after the crash and encouraged the rest of his family to do so as well.
While Spies and Allebaugh prepare for the next leg of their journey together, they hope to prevent others from starting the same one.
"Don't be us. This is great to have a bond and to connect, but this is rare. And it would just be a lot easier if you didn't text and drive so you didn't have to go through what we've been through," said Spies. "It's a sad camaraderie. It's a sad family to be a part of."
"When you drive, just drive. It needs to be that simple," added Allebaugh. "Don't do two things at once. It's a responsibility and it's the only thing that's going to change anything."
