Lohan tells Oprah she secretly wanted to go to jail

Posted on: 8:29 am, August 19, 2013, by

(CNN) — Sunday night marked the first time we’ve heard from Lindsay Lohan since her most recent stint in rehab, in her eagerly awaited pow wow with Oprah Winfrey.

In the course of an hour, there was some “pow” and a bit of “wow” for those of us used to seeing the young actress as a troubled starlet.

Lohan appeared coherent and comfortable answering questions on “Oprah’s Next Chapter,” where she started out being clear that she wanted to share her truth.

Filmed four days after Lohan left her sixth rehab, the interview kicked off Winfrey’s OWN network’s Lohan programming, which will also include a reality docu-series about Lohan’s attempt to get her life back on track.

Looking healthier than fans have seen her in a while, Lohan wore a tangerine-colored form-fitting dress, her hair pulled back in a ponytail and light make-up. She referred to herself as an “addict” almost immediately and discussed everything from her drug of choice to her relationship with her parents.

Since 7 is a lucky number and so many are wishing her the best, here are the 7 things we learned from the show:

1) Lohan secretly wished to go to jail that first time

Oprah reminds us that on July 6, 2010, Lohan violated her probation after missing her alcohol counseling sessions. She was sentenced to 90 days in jail, but only served two weeks because of jail overcrowding.

The actress said that being an addict and surrounded by so much chaos made her “kind of want” to go to jail.

“I think it was just to have some peace and just have no choice but to just sit and be,” Lohan told Winfrey. “I’ll never forget that moment (of being sentenced).”

2) Alcohol is her drug of choice, not cocaine

According to Lohan, booze is way more of a problem for her than cocaine – despite the many jokes bandied about to the contrary.

Lohan told Winfrey she has only done cocaine “10 to 15 times” and never really enjoyed snorting it. The attraction of the drug, she said, was that it allowed her to drink more.

“(Cocaine) was like a party thing. People would have it and I would do it,” she said. “It went hand in hand with drinking.”

Lohan also revealed that she’s no longer on Adderall, and did not use the stimulant to control her weight. But, she said, “It did ground me.”

These days, Lohan said the only pills she takes are vitamins and Nexium, for acid reflux.

3) She admits that she’s been a mess

Lohan said she hates being known – as Winfrey put it – “as an adjective and verb for bad behavior and child star gone wrong.” It’s not at all what Lohan said she aspired to be.

She says her reputation for being late on set, among other famous complaints, came from her being “so distracted in the past that I wasn’t on point with that.”

But she believes she can turn it around.

“As long as I stay honest with myself and just do the work that I am willing to do, and have been willing to do and am doing, there’s nothing that can stand in the way of that,” Lohan said. “I’m my own worst enemy and I know that.”

4) Her troubles started with “Mean Girls”

After the success of multiple films, including “The Parent Trap” and “Herbie: Fully Loaded,” Lohan was making $7 million a picture. She said it was after she hit it even bigger in 2004′s “Mean Girls” that she decided to move to Los Angeles. That spelled trouble for the then-18-year-old, as she said she was reckless with her money and vulnerable to the hangers-on who surrounded her.

In response to Winfrey’s query as who was there to guide her then, the actress shrugged and said “No one really, when I think about it.”

5) Lohan is very spiritual

“I feel whole again,” Lohan told Winfrey of how she’s feeling post this last trip to rehab.

“I’m a very spiritual person and I’ve become more spiritual as time has gone on,” Lohan said. “I’m really in touch, whether it’s prayer or meditation… there are so many powers greater than me in the world. I’ve been blessed and lucky enough to have been given a gift to share with other people.”

6) She doesn’t blame her parents

Lohan maintained that she loves her parents and is close with them both, despite the time her father secretly taped a phone call during which Lindsay accused her mother of drug use. Michael Lohan made the tape public and it quickly went viral.

Lohan said she lied to her father during that conversation. It was after a fight with her mother and Lohan said she was “acting out.” She said she was unsure as to why her father “betrayed” her, but said her parents now get along.

“I hate the bad rap that people give my parents,” Lohan said. “Because they are just parents, really, at the end of the day trying to stand up for their daughter and themselves.”

Her parents are not responsible for her poor choices, she said. Still, she has since asked her parents to keep their lives private.

7) “I am different”

Lohan said she understands that she’s perceived as someone who has been given chance after chance, but she expressed what seemed to be a sincere desire to return to work, or as Lohan calls acting, “the thing that has made me happiest my whole life.”

She told Oprah that she is ready to “work really hard and stay focused and prove myself in the way that I did before in the past and I lost. I have to regain the trust of people in my career that have their doubts and I fully respect that on their behaf.”

When Oprah asked about Lohan’s upcoming trip to Europe and whether that would be a good idea so soon after rehab, Lohan thought she could handle it.

“I feel different. I’m in a different headspace. I don’t want those things that I wanted before,” she said.

Days after the interview taped, Lohan canceled her trip.

“It’s a process of growing up and recognizing and being just so tired and exhausted by the chaos, which is what it really is,” Lohan said in the interview. “I have had no right in my past to complain about being followed by cameras and people making up stories, but there’s something to be said about me moving forward.”